did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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