Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Randomize
