I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize