My cat gives me a boner
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
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