took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
wow bdsm is so cute
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