I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize