What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I need to stop coming to work sober
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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