I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Randomize
