Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
