the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
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