dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
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