i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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