I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize