nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
where am i from again
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Randomize
