I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Randomize
