At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
Sponge bath it is.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
