his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
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