You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
