So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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