I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
