frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
