i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
17 year olds will be the death of me.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
What happened to fro yo and sex?
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Do you have feelings for this penis?
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
