If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Randomize
