On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
I have demons in me.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize
