that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize
