I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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