i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Randomize
