Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
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