Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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