I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
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