I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Randomize
