nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
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