he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
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