how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I think people are normalizing furries
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Randomize
