Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
