My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
this will be a night to untag.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Randomize
