Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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