we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
