i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
