O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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