i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Randomize
