I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
