I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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