Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
I want her autograph on my taint
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I need a beard to bite.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
