is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Randomize
