Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry TurdHammock hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(408): View more from California

i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.

Fav 16 1210 6080
share tweet
(850): View more from Florida

He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.

Fav 13 1034 4568
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(708): View more from Illinois

I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.

Fav 2 940 1680
share tweet
(412): View more from Pennsylvania

we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning

Fav 7 3496 998
share tweet
(810): View more from Michigan

She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.

Fav 3 1134 1631
share tweet
(703): View more from Virginia

Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other

Fav 1 1592 736
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(502): View more from Kentucky

Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.

Fav 2 2003 1114
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(423): View more from Tennessee

Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.

Fav 1 20 56
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(727): View more from Florida

I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.

Fav 0 117 4
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT