google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Randomize
