am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
My bed smells like the plague
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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