I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
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