OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Randomize
