i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Enjoy the penises
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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