She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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