Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Randomize
