wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
