Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
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