I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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