I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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