i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
