and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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