All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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