Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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