Define "chronic" masturbator.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Randomize
