shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
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